From Lying to Loving

Is it possible to be truthful without falling into legalism? Or is honesty always the best policy? When is it not even a good idea to be honest? Just asking those questions exposes an underlying narrative that though a lie may be an abomination to God it is a very ready help in time of need.

I’m a little astonished to consider lying as a norm in our culture–which includes me! Whether or not I intend to mislead, say something that is just not true, or avoid saying something rude or endangering to myself or another’s reputation or character, I do live for the most part under the mercy or power of words and their motives.

Consider the last half-truth I caught rolling out of my mouth before I even thought… Or when not saying anything implied my agreement. Yikes. How did my nodding sympathetically indicate more concern than I really felt??

How does my goal to become the person God is intending me to be, incarnating to others the Christ that indwells and delights in me, changing the way I think (my narratives) and thus the words I speak? James 3:2 says that if you control the tongue, you control the whole person. You’ve heard the saying about how the tail wags the dog? I shudder at how easily my tongue wags me–and shakes my character at the same time.

A regular rhythm of silence helps us move beyond rules into what is loving in relationship with God and others. That is honestly what God wants for us and from us.

Jean Nevills
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